Archive for the ‘Intuition’ Category

Soul Salve

The amazing ways in which life, circumstance, and coincidence come together is something I find incredibly fascinating. It is even more so when I find myself in the middle of that divine happenstance.

Such was the case earlier this week when I was found by a book.

A book title had captured my attention when segments were referenced in some blog posts on Ronna Detrick’s website, Renegade Conversations. The book she referenced is by Sue Monk Kidd called Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to Sacred Feminine.

Further investigation led me to think this was a book I needed.

Desperately.

Like an open wound needs Neosporin to speed the healing.

And while a trip to yoga class in a neighboring larger town resulted in my experiencing a most horrific and tragic loss, it also resulted in a find that has proven to be unexpected salve for a wound that’s been difficult to heal.

I knew that the local Barnes and Noble had the book I was seeking. At least the website indicated they did. One copy. Only one. Which meant it might or might not be there.

I went.

I asked.

I was shown where it “should” be located although it wasn’t jumping out to grab the attention of either the customer service rep or me.

I continued to search the Comparative Religion section to which he had directed me.

In a moment he came back , book in hand. He had found it on a clearance table at the front of the store. It had a sticker on it that said Buy 2 Get the 3rd Free.

Hmm…. I might need to find this table and see what else is there.

And I did.

As I glanced around the table near the open space where my sought-for book had been resting, I noticed another. Cute. Written around a poem with which I was familiar and which struck a synchronistic chord with me.

What else?

Then I saw it. The title that reached up from that table and grabbed my wounds. The words on the beautiful cover were bold and clear.


Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith, by Barbara Brown Taylor.

Never heard of her. Yet apparently she had something to tell me. Something I really needed to hear.

Three books in hand. I stood there holding them for a moment wondering if I really needed them all or if I should leave with only the one for which I came. A chill registered in my body from the roots of the hairs on the top of my head all the way down to the tips of my toes. I have learned in recent months that this is my signal, my intuitive sense, my message from the Divine that something awaits me inside this choice.

All three books left with me.

One, however, begged for my immediate attention, and it wasn’t the one I sought. It is the one that sought me. It was the book that jumped through hoops of time and space and internet blogs and accidental leadings and a sale tag to find its way into my possession and ultimately onto my wounds to help with some much needed healing.

It was the one that contained passages such as this for which I will ever be grateful for Divine Coincidence.

Like most Christians, I have my own canon, in which I hear God speaking most directly to me, but I also like the parts in which God sounds like an alien, since those parts remind me that God does not belong to me. I do  not pretend to read the Bible any more objectively than those who wrote it for me. To read it literally strikes me as a terrible refusal of their literary gifts.

“I will keep the Bible, which remains the Word of God for me, but always the Word as heard by generations of human beings as flawed as I. As beautifully as these witnesses write, their divine inspiration can never be separated from their ardent desires; their genuine wish to serve God cannot be divorced from their self-interest. That God should use such blemished creatures to communicate God’s reality so well makes the Bible its own kind of miracle, but I hope never to put the book ahead of the people whom the book calls me to love and serve.

“I will keep the Bible as a field guide, which was never intended to be a substitute for the field. With the expert notes kept by those who have gone before me, I will keep hunting the Divine Presence in the world, helped as much by the notes they wrote in the margins while they were waiting for God to appear as by their astonished descriptions of what they saw when God did.”

And another….

“In my closet I have a T-shirt with many of their names on it, which I wore to bed while I was sleeping in the wilderness: …Martin Luther, …Joan of Arc, Francis of Assisi, Heldegard of Bingen, Galileo, Copernicus, Peter Aberlard, …Tertullian, Ogigen, Jesus. All of these people made unauthorized choices in their love of God. They saw things they were not supposed to see or said things they were not supposed to say. They wondered about things they were not supposed to wonder about, and when Mother Church told them to stop they did not obey her.

“Some of them died for their disobedience while others were locked in their rooms. Still others were sent out of the house and told to never come back. Many of them are spiritual heroes now. At least one of them is revered as the Son of God, but none of them got where they were going without passing through the wilderness first. “

I never cease to be amazed at how Spirit places something on my heart, something that is completely out of alignment with a sacred belief I have held for most of my life, and then shows me others to whom this same revelation has been given. She shows me these things with such precision that I can’t help but think her messenger must have been hanging out in my head, taking notes and writing down my thoughts and feelings.

This was not my first experience at being found by or led to a resource that I was not seeking. As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Eerie, almost creepy, but so very cool.

Confirmation that

I am safe.

I am saved.

I am sane.


Intuition + Self Care + Intuition + Intuition = Perfection

Yesterday, I took the day off. I had good reason, but I could have easily pushed through and gone to work. Munchkin would have been fine at home by herself resting.

But I didn’t. Something inside of me said to stay home. Rest. Be with my kid. Read. Write. Rest. Cook. Rest. Eat. Rest.

I listened.

Wow! That’s a little A-Typical for me.

Plus, as 4:00 PM on Tuesday afternoon rolled around I typically would have donned yoga garb and headed to Amarillo for class. But I didn’t. I really didn’t want to.

Again, I listened.

And it was a good thing.

At 5:50 PM, a very nice lady called me. She was in significant pain. She was desperate for some relief. Any other day, I would have been in Amarillo, unable to help her.

But I wasn’t. I was here. I was rested. I was nourished. I met her at the wellness center and helped her body find some relief.

Intuition heard. Perfection achieved.

We wrapped things up and I sent her on her way, noticing storm clouds getting quite close. I quickly changed the massage linens, threw some things in the massage washer, tidied up, and headed back to the house as the lightning danced across the sky.

It was absolutely beautiful and majestic and powerful. Sacred energy from above.

Back at home, my preteen weather monitors greeted me with the current radar information. Intense rotation and tornadoes spotted from Happy to Amarillo.

I would have been in the midst of that had I gone to Amarillo. But I didn’t. I wasn’t. I was safe at home.

Again….Intuition heard. Perfection achieved.

Then as I was reflecting back on my days activities, I remembered an exchange on Facebook with a blogger whom I follow. I read her post yesterday, which was an unusually long one for her. I don’t know that I’ve ever commented on her writing. I’m more of a lurker. However, I left my comments for her on FB, and pretty much forgot about it.

Then I got a private message. She responded to me that my comments had been absolutely right. She shared the details. She was excited. I was excited for her. We exchanged some information and more encouragement.

Yet again….Intuition heard. Perfection Achieved.

Note to self: Listen to intuition more often. Especially when it says take the day to just chill out. Cool and amazing things happen when the space is made available for them.

Elephants are Stalking Me, but They Aren't Pink So I'm Still Sane

A few days ago, I mentioned some Wound-Licking, Truth-Telling, and Under-the-Bed-Clearing that I felt like needed my attention.

That began a series of dialogs with some close friends about how best to gently but effectively lance and lick those wounds without causing major collateral damage. Two important facts here: 1) I’m good at generating collateral damage, and 2) I suck at cleaning up collateral damage.

What can I say? It’s a gift. Call it like I see it. State the obvious, even when not politically or socially correct. I’m working on it. Have been since about second grade. Middle school wasn’t pretty.

Anyway, I made a conscious decision to publicly lick my wounds with gentle humor. Everyone needs to laugh. Laughter is good medicine as long as it isn’t directed at someone. Humor is just what the doctor ordered.

Then I began referring to these wounds as my elephant. I mentioned to others my need to exercise the elephant, maybe by airlifting it to Zimbabwe (do they have elephants in Zimbabwe? I wouldn’t want mine to be lonely.) I started thinking about the humor in seeing my situation as an elephant.

As my tired body headed to bed last night, I noticed my hubby had the TV on (as always) and he was watching some nature show….on elephants.

Ironic, doncha think?

Then this morning, I glance down and see my Animal Spirit Guides book laying there beckoning me to read from it. And being as to how my elephant was born in part because of my obsessions with supernatural possibilities and communication with the Divine, I glanced up and said, “So, ya got somethin’ ya wanna tell me, eh?”

And I opened the book to the page on elephants. That many elephants in that short a time span said to me that there was something I needed to hear, and since they weren’t pink, I figured I hadn’t lost my mind completely yet.

If ELEPHANT shows up, it means:

Do not let anything stand in the way of attaining this goal that is so integral to your purpose.

Neither rain, snow, sleet, hail, elephants, or credit card debt shall stand in my way.

You have the determination and persistence required to overcome the current challenges you’re faced with.

Yes, Ma’am. Dem things on my head would be bull horns. Git outta my way.

Trust your senses, and if something in your life “smells” bad, take the necessary action to do away with it.

That would be referring to the elephant poo under my bed. Anybody got a big shovel?

Remain loyal to those closest to you in spite of anyone questioning their integrity.

Well, that would fit any number of situations, past or present.

It’s a good time to renew your sense of connectedness to the divine.

Uhm…yeah…that’s part of what birthed this elephant in the first place, but hey, anyone wanna take me to the mountains? Or maybe I’ll just enjoy a bit of farm worship.

Call on ELEPHANT when:

There are mental, emotional, or physical obstacles in your path that seem to block you from achieving your goals or following your mission.

Okay, Mr. Suffleupagus. (I had to look that one up!) I dialed your number already. That’s why we are here. (Is he an elephant or a mammoth? Close enough.)

You’re feeling tired, weak, or depressed and want more energy and vitality.

Hunky Farmer Boy might appreciate this.

You want to feel more confident.

Darn tootin’. (oooo…those smell like elephant poo!)

You want to increase your libido and encourage romantic feelings.

Hunky Farmer Boy might appreciate this even more!

You find yourself in a position of power and responsibility, one that requires you to be a strong and effective leader.

I think self-employed (aka jobless) qualifies me on this one.

If ELEPHANT is your power animal:

You have an insatiable hunger for knowledge and continually seek to understand things.

Check. See my transcripts if in doubt.

You’re at your best doing some kind of political or social work or otherwise being in a responsible position of public service.

EWWWWW. Got that dirty, nasty, smelly t-shirt. Took me 13 years to bust outta that jail. I’m layin’ low for a while…..like ’til death.

You have an innate capacity for drawing on ancient wisdom and communicating this whenever appropriate.

I’m getting this out of an animal spirit guide book, aren’t I? And that innate capacity for drawing on ancient wisdom and communicating is the sperm donor of this elephant I birthed.

You’re a passionate and uninhibited lover who’s quite able to please and satisfy your partner.

Sounds like a good question for Hunky Farmer Boy. Oops! He’s snoring. Guess that means I’m REAL good.

Once you set your mind to something, there’s nothing that will stop you from obtaining it.

Mom? Dad? Anyone wanna weigh in on this one? Stop laughing and shaking your head. Determination is a good thing. Bulldozing through concrete walls with my noggin’ is a noteworthy talent, don’t you think? Never mind the blood and concussions. That’d be some of my infamous collateral damage.

Okay….yeah….Definitely thinking the Big Power is telling me something.

The Strong Life Test: Teacher-Motivator

Yesterday Danielle LaPorte’s new digital book experience, The Firestarter Sessions became available for pre-release purchasing. Since I’m more or less a “spend every penny you’ve got” sorta gal, and since I had just made a small, yet adequate deposit into the massage business bank account, AND since I could justify/rationalize it as a business expense, I decided I NEEDED this book. Actually what I needed was a hefty dose of Danielle, and since she was handing over Chapter 3 with the advanced purchase, I played into her little plot to toy with my impatience.

I worked my way through her fun, engaging, and challenging material….right up to the collection of personality tests. I enjoy these things. I’ve seen a couple of them before, so they didn’t all grab my attention at once. This one, however, did. It’s called the Strong Life test. The questions were pretty straight forward, and it was free, so my criteria were met.

I took the test.

Then I hit the submit button.

Then it told me my fate.

My lead role is………………………………………………

TEACHER??????? Just shoot me now. I’m running away from that, remember?

Maybe my supporting role would be better.

Another drum role, please…………………………………

MOTIVATOR.

Okay, not so bad. I could handle playing the Stephen Covey part.

But still…..am I not about to escape that whole teacher/motivator job?

Yes and no.

Yes, I am escaping the confinement and rigidity of teaching in a formal school setting with all of it’s rules and regulations and state mandates and schedules and testing and politics. And actually, it isn’t the teaching I am escaping. It’s the desk. It’s the lack of teaching. It’s the lack of others really wanting to or having the opportunity to learn what I have to teach. It’s the lack of willingness to give time for learning what I have to teach. It’s the draining, life-sucking energy of the system.

The circumstances are what I am escaping.

No, I will never be able to escape the teacher/motivator in me. My sweet massage clients will attest to that. I rarely give a massage that doesn’t include SOME form of teaching and motivating. The kid that came to ask for my financial help with his dream will attest to that. (Sorry, Dude. If you are at least 2  years younger than me, you now do and always will qualify as a kid. That’s just how I roll.) He didn’t escape until I taught him some of my cool mojo. That sort of info is just too awesome to keep to myself.

What this means is I get to look for new ways to teach and motivate. It means I get to find things I truly love and share them whenever and wherever opportunity presents itself.

A couple of years ago, I went through a course called 48 Days to the Work You Love. There were, of course, lots of values evaluations. One activity included writing my own epitaph. Some have suggested it’s more like a eulogy in length, but it still accurately states how I want to be remembered.

Angie helped people feel great about themselves and develop their talents and abilities. She gave others courage and confidence when they had none to give themselves. She gave them health and hope and the knowledge to change their own lives, and in doing so, she created a legacy of health, wealth, and love for her family.

Hmm….I see a pattern here.

So what do you think? How am I gonna live this dream, this life purpose, without the confines of the public education system?

Personal trainer?

Private tutor?

Blogger/author?

Anything else?

Tapping Away Limiting Beliefs

About a week ago, I was discussing some things with a friend who lives between Austin and Waco. She has become my mentor of sorts in the field of Energy Healing. We were looking at options for bringing her to Tulia to see some clients. That’s a long drive unless there is a significant opportunity waiting at the end of the road.

In order to make it happen, I would need to market her availability and get committed clients lined up waiting to see her. Unfortunately, I don’t see myself as much of a marketer, so I suggested we try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)  in order to move me past that marketing road block. It’s a pretty important thing to me since I will soon be needing to market myself really well in order to pay the bills. I figured this would help improve multiple situations, and hopefully get things to the point where she could come to Tulia to see and help several clients.

EFT is a form of energy work by which a person taps certain acupressure points on the body while making statements related to a limiting belief. Doing so releases the emotional grip that holds the limiting belief in place. It has a lot to do with letting go, changing perceptions, and in many ways bears strong resemblance to Brain Gym.

My friend’s name is Andrea Mincsack Bordelon. She’s a transplanted New Yorker  who saw the light and came to Texas, found love, and a bunch of long horn cattle. She’s a collector/gatherer of people, and she’s a clair-sentient meaning she has strong intuitive feelings. She’s a very cool person and an incredibly knowledgeable lady.

It didn’t take long for her to figure out that my marketing issues were probably tied in to emotions that would seem totally unrelated to the problem at hand. I won’t go into details, but basically I had guilt, resentment, and control emotions with a little bit of love and acceptance junk thrown in the mix all related to how I keep house. (Note: I don’t.) She was a master at talking me through the affirmations and tapping everywhere from my hand to my face to my collarbone and ribs to the top of my head. We cleared one emotion, or at least made some headway, then I would notice something else had come to the surface.

Andrea continued to work with me until I no longer felt the emotions at all. It’s a lot like I imagine an emotional lobotomy to be minus the side effects. It feels pretty good to go from that intense feeling of “everything is my fault and the world is judging me and nobody loves or accepts me because I’m a failure at this, but I don’t feel like I have any control over it” to “who gives a <bleep> what anyone else thinks?”

Oh, and we did this all over the phone. Very cool.

Every time I have an experience with any type of energy work, I am amazed at what surfaces for me. The thing about energy work is it can yield profoundly immediate obvious results, or its results can be subtle and barely noticeable taking days or even weeks to release the full impact of a session. A lot depends on the intuitive sensing abilities of the recipient. It doesn’t matter if a person sees themselves as intuitive or not, energy work works. Intuitive personalities simply tend to perceive the shifts a little easier.

For a skeptic, there’s always a way to explain away the experience. Fortunately for me, I left that skeptical world behind a few years ago. Some might suggest I am gullible. I prefer to think of myself as now being open to possibilities.

We are looking at having Andrea in Tulia near the end of June. She has quite a resource kit of knowledge and experience including Eden Energy Medicine, EFT, and Reiki, all of which are forms of energy work.

If you are interested in working with her in person when she is in the Panhandle this summer, please let me know. I trust you will be quite pleased with your investment.

Constant Reassurance Makes for Good Vibrations

I did it. I not only made the decision to change my career, I actually acted on it this past week. You can see the pre-game warmup here.

Now comes the tricky part. I must make sure that every thought, feeling, emotion, vibration, and experience support not only the fact that I made the right decision, but also that I will be highly successful in my new ventures.

In the days leading up to my decision and the action that sealed the deal, I continually asked God to give me signs that I was headed the right direction. He did that in overwhelming ways. With every convincing sign, I would ask for another and another. I think I wanted the heavens to open up and ten thousand angels to descend in front of me, all singing some rendition of a song called DO IT! I was feeling the fear of insecurity, and needed complete reassurance that my change was authorized, 100% backed, and supported by the all of the forces of Heaven.

I finally did it. I must admit I was partly afraid that if I asked for any more signs I might get hit by one. I’m joking, of course, but it is funny how one fear was replaced by another. Now I face the daily mental disciplinary task of knowing that I am safe, cared for, protected, and financially secure in all ways. Again, asking for constant reassurance from the Divine is the best way for me to calm the doubt and raise the vibration of success. He continues to come through with flying colors (not literally, but would probably happen if I asked for it).

This morning, I once again asked for that communication of reassurance. I have found that He speaks most clearly to me through the words of books including everything from the Bible to something called Animal Spirit Guides by Steven Farmer to my latest find entitled It Has Always Been Thus. I’m sure He would find a way to respond to me no matter what I picked up, yet this morning, I grabbed the latter option, said my short prayer requesting reassurance, closed my eyes, and flipped to a page in the book.

These words were the first I saw from Rosalee Sirgany’s book:

Go within. Look into your heart. See what gladdens your heart and soul and endeavor to make this your life’s work. Be at peace and know that you shall and will be abundantly provided for, for when you are on the correct path for you, you are flowing in harmony with Divine energy and things seem to fall in place magically.

There is no magic, however, except that which you create by being at one with All That Is, in harmony with the flow of love and light. Be happy. It is the most important thing, for when you are happy you can change the world easily and effectively.

What’s left to be said after reassurance like that? I think I’ll go find an mp3 of Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t Worry,  Be Happy”.  It’s already playing in my head. You can listen on You Tube here.

Just a Little Talk with Jesus

Yesterday at 4:00 PM, I had a little talk with Jesus. Notice I did not say TO Jesus, I said WITH Jesus.  That’s right. I did something I never thought I would do. I paid a woman who claims to channel archangels, ascended masters, and Jesus Christ himself to give me 30 minutes of her time and attention, just to see what she would say. I was not disappointed.

Now before you decide I have lost my mind or that I have gone over to the dark side, keep in mind that the very Bible we faithfully uphold as the divinely inspired word of God has many examples of special people who received direct revelation from Spirit beings. The Old Testament is full of them, and even the New Testament has its share of people who received the audible voice of God.  Also know that I went into this session with a healthy dose of skepticism, but also a desire to be open if in fact it was real.  After all, if there is one thing I have learned in my five year search for MORE, it is that God speaks to us in many ways and God will give us the signs and confirmation we need to understand the divine purpose for our lives.   

My channeling session took place over the telephone. The kind lady with whom I worked is a woman named Rosalee Sirgany. Her website at http://www.goldeneaglespirit.com/ indicates she is a contemporary mystic. I believe my discovery of her work was divinely directed, yet those circumstances are a blog post for another time.

She began by greeting me in the usual way, calling me by the name I used to contact her, which is Angie, and indicated that she was channeling Jesus Christ. I was good with that. After all, I had very specifically been asking God to let me hear his audible voice. Rosalee immediately interrupted herself and said she was getting “Angela” and asked if my real name is Angela, which it is. That information is readily available on the internet, so there is nothing stunning about her knowing my real name.  She did tell me that I should go by my real name because it is much more energetically a match for me, and it is the name I chose before I came. I told her I had always felt my nickname of Angie was more me because it is short and catchy and fun. She indicated that is not the case and that Angela would in fact be more empowering to my attainment of my goals. I plan to have someone muscle check me to see which name actually supports my body’s energy system the best. Interestingly, she is not the first person to suggest that maybe Angie isn’t the name that resonates best for me.

She asked if I had questions. I told her that I was seeking some guidance with regards to career decisions. I indicated that I had held my current position with the local school system for 18 years, and that I had recently completed massage therapy school. My dilemma was in figuring out which one would get my undivided attention. I did not mention any dissatisfaction with my long-time career, nor did I mention any special passion for massage. However, I do know that a person might be able to draw some conclusions based on many of my blog posts.

She said my current work is not supporting me energetically. It leaves me feeling drained. The massage, on the other hand, she said fills me with joy and love and that I am VERY good at it. She emphasized this several times. She said if I will do that which fills me with joy and love, I will be very successful. She said the positive energy I generate when I do what I love will naturally draw people to me and to my business. She said finances might be tight at first, but that it is much more important that I do what I love than have a steady paycheck and supposed security by staying with something that drains me. Again, in all fairness, it is possible that a person could generate this information from my writings.

Then she got me where I couldn’t find a loophole. I mentioned that I was considering a return to school to get an RN license. She very quickly said, “No. You are tired of studying and do not wish to study anymore. Going back to school will only leave you with what you already have.” NOTHING I had said or written up to that point could have given her this idea, and yet as soon as she said it, I knew she was hearing from someone who knows me better than I know myself. I knew she, or rather Jesus, was right. My little financial investment in her time probably saved me thousands in education expenses that would have likely only added to my stress and not to my joy. Bottom line, she was dead on with this one, and no one else could have discouraged me with any other argument.

Our conversation continued and I asked her a few other questions. In each case, I felt this total stranger was tuned into a source that most of us are not conditioned to hear. Is she somehow unique in her ability? Is she a chosen one? Maybe so. I don’t think she is alone in her abilities, but I do think she has a heightened sensitivity to that which each of us has been offered, yet most are unable to access. Just like an Old Testament prophet, she has her heart and her senses tuned into a higher power. We may love and adore our higher power, but she hears the words they speak to us. In my book, that is WAY cool.

I was seeking confirmation. I have had multiple instances of confirmation in a variety of ways, but I wanted something more dramatic…more blunt. Through her, and ultimately I believe through Jesus Christ, I got my confirmation, but I also got a no. I am grateful for that no. I am almost as grateful for it as I am for the yeses.  Thanks, God, for giving me the courage to find another way to hear your voice.

The Spirituality of Wellness

It’s been a few weeks since I last blogged. The reason certainly isn’t because I don’t have anything to say. The reason seems to be more a case of not knowing exactly how to make my thoughts align with the overall purpose of my website and my business, which is wellness.

I have had many interesting experiences in the last few years. My life really began to shift in 2003 when a modest career move that I didn’t really request or pursue (and yet I can see now how I did) put me in places and around people who offered me tools that opened up my narrow view of the world. Those shifts and experiences have left me with many thoughts, feelings, opinions, and words that need to be spoken and written about, yet I have thus far been unable to see how they could be appropriate on a blog that is attached to a wellness site.

As of this morning, my vision has cleared and my voice may now speak and speak relevantly and powerfully on my wellness blog. How was I able to make the connection? By having the right materials in front of me at the right time. By having a clear intention of what I want to do. By maintaining focus on what I need to do. And by listening to the voice of my innermost being, the voice that speaks most clearly to me when I’m toasting my tush in a water-wasting, environmentally unconscious, long, hot, and prickly shower.

So what was this revelation that has suddenly made everything about which I need to write appropriate for a wellness blog? It is the realization that the road to wellness, whether striving to regain it or clinging to what remains of it, is indeed a spiritual journey. It is a knowing that my business is about healing: not my power to heal others, but my teaching others to heal themselves, if they so choose, while healing myself along the way. It is the recognition that my desire to understand Christianity’s greatest healer and teacher is what has led me through the many twists and turns, pain felt and pain inflicted, confusion and clarity, unconsciousness and awareness.

Wellness is spiritual. It is both a requirement for and a consequence of attaining enlightenment. It is not about a particular religion, group, or set of rules, but rather the interconnectedness of all. Wellness is about linking into the universal source of life, just as Jesus Christ did. It is about moving beyond (transcending) the walls and rules designed and built by human hands and minds and plugging into the ever present, all knowing, and all powerful life source we know as God.

It is recognizing that we are one body and together, this body can reclaim wellness.

Invisible Bridges–Risk vs. Opportunity

I read a fantastic blog post earlier today by someone who has captured my attention as of late. Ronna Detrick of Renegade Conversations seems to be feeding my soul with her words. She is gifted at seeing religion through different eyes—of taking the stories of women in the Bible and opening our eyes to the intensity, the risk, and the realities of what these women represent. Today she shared the story of Abigail from the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel. Abigail took a huge risk and serves as an example to the rest of us risk-taking wannabes.

The post got me to thinking about what potential risks I have suppressed in the name of keeping things safe and familiar. It also brings to mind the risks I have taken and am currently living through that frequently throw me into a feeling of panic and fear. I tend to see risk as an invisible bridge that connects that which we perceive to be safe with that which we perceive to be foolish or unattainable.  Just like Indiana Jones, setting foot on a bridge that appears to be nothing more than a free fall into the abyss below requires a heckuva lot of moxy. Too often, my moxy tank is about a quart low.

It seems I have a skeleton closet full of risks that have thus far been locked away for safe keeping. Hmm…safe keeping? Maybe that should say “…locked away for eternal imprisonment” or “…locked away to avoid the possibility of failure” or “…locked away to avoid offending someone” or even “…locked away because there’s no retirement or insurance benefits”.  Any way I look at it, there are things that I would love to say, be, and do that have been locked away to avoid the risks that are inherent in pursuing them. If I leave them in that closet, they will wither and die until there is nothing left of those dreams and desires except the skeleton. If I unlock the door and take those risks out into the sunlight, they might just take root and grow into something that feeds, clothes, and shelters me and my family for generations to come.

Of course, the greatest problem with risk is the fear of taking that first step onto the bridge. The screams of horror from onlookers who don’t know about the bridge can be overwhelming. After all, maybe the bridge DOESN’T actually exist and I’m totally insane. Maybe they are right and it would be better to die on the safe side than risk losing everything to live an adventure. Maybe I’m not supposed to walk a bridge to the other side. Maybe I am supposed to dive off the ledge of safety into a whole new world that the panicked on-lookers don’t even know exists. Maybe, just maybe, my Pandora lies at the bottom of the abyss.

One step, one leap, don’t look down, don’t look back. Breathe.

Lessons

This week has been exciting and inspiring to say the least. I had the privilege of traveling to a beautiful desert resort to learn more about energy medicine from one of the pioneers in the field, Donna Eden. She is a lovely, lively woman who wears flow-y clothing and comes packaged with a male resembling a cross between Pierce Brosnan and Texas Governor Rick Perry.

I went as I usually do to these things seeking. I’m not sure what it is I am seeking, but I always secretly hope to be the person called up on stage who levitates or has an out of body experience or something….and as usual, that didn’t happen. Instead, from the guru, I received tidbits of enlightenment–nuggets of wisdom that let me know I’m still interested in this direction of travel.

My previous encounters with energy medicine had left me with a touch of envy for the gift that some seemed to have. They seemed to see energy, feel energy, experience a knowing about energy that I did not seem to possess. Their practice of the technique seemed so much easier because of their gifts. I felt like the learning disabled in a G/T classroom, as though I had nothing in my toolkit.

The first day of classes, I approached the registration table and discovered a woman I recognized from the class in Austin. She is a teaching assistant who has been practicing energy medicine for some time. She greeted me with open arms and I immediately relaxed. The irony of this encounter is she is the one TA from the previous class by whom I had been so intimidated and uncomfortable (my perceptions, not her actions). Lesson #1—My first impressions aren’t always right. We had so much fun and she allowed me to spend lots of time with her both during the day and in the evenings. That was a gift that blessed me in so many ways as her circle of friends includes quite a group of really cool and intriguing people.

By the end of the first 24 hours, I had learned another lesson. Lesson #2—I do read the energies of other people. I found myself highly irritated any time I had to be around a negative person. It didn’t matter how bubbly and fun they were capable of being, I was annoyed. With this lesson, I learned how to tactfully give myself some space.

My divinely appointed roommate noticed me giving someone a head and neck massage and suggested that I really got “in the zone” when I was working on her. Since I’m thinking that is a good thing, Lesson #3—I am focused on my client when I work.

The next lesson came when I watched the headache person mentioned above suffer through two days of migraines while supposedly on vacation because she is so sensitive to all the crazy, mixed up, out of whack energies that come to these events hoping, as I do, for some type of profound healing experience. She described it like this, “You know that movie ‘The Sixth Sense’ where the little kid says I see dead people? Well, I feel people.” Along with that, we learned that our guru is so connected with the energies of her daughters and others that she experienced morning sickness for one and the near death trauma of the other within the same time frame. It put her health in serious jeopardy. Lesson #4—I am grateful that I am not highly sensitive to the energies of others. I no longer desire to have that level of connectedness. Muscle checking and basic intuition will be sufficient, thank you.

The guru did bless me with a gift and a lesson. I’m not one to chase autographs. I figure they’ve got enough people sucking life out of them and taking away from their free time that I don’t need to add to it. I did finally cave once I learned that she would look at my aura and tell me my life color(s). That was a piece I really wanted, and I figured if I just made it quick and didn’t ask any questions, it wouldn’t be too much of a burden. Besides, one of her body guards (Pirate Frank as he was affectionately known) had suggested she actually loves book signings. So day 3 found me standing in front of the guru watching as she signed my book in blue and “pinky rose”. After being asked, I told her that I had just finished massage therapy school and was looking to move out of my technology work. She quickly said, “Oh, you don’t need to be in technology.” Incidentally blue is the life color of healers and pinky rose has something to do with unconditional love. Life colors rarely if ever change. Lesson #5—I was born to help people heal and everything up to now has been preparation to get me ready to do so.

The end of Day 3 found about 5 of us at a restaurant eating supper. I was blessed to be in the presence of some fabulous people, one of whom I had only encountered that day. Kelly was a beautiful 49 year old woman that looked so amazing everyone thought she had to be 20 years younger. She made us laugh so hard that strawberry margarita almost shot out my nose. (Don’t worry, Mom, it was virgin.) Lesson #6—Everyone needs to laugh that hard at least once a day. I’m thinking of asking her to move in with us. I joked that I’d share my hubby with another woman if she had the ability to help me feel as wonderful as this woman did. She is awesome.

As Day 4 came to a close and everyone was leaving, Kelly and I were about the only ones staying an additional night. We went to supper together and had an awesome visit. I had asked God to give me some sort of sign as to my direction while on this trip. I didn’t realize he would wait until the last 24 hours and then blast me with every possible sign imaginable, yet that’s exactly what happened. My visit with Kelly wrapped both of us in the realization that we are a part of something incredibly awesome, fabulous, and bigger than life. As I told her my story, she both encouraged and scolded me. She encouraged me to share my story. I really didn’t think anyone would be all that interested. She said, “This is the stuff movies are made of.” She scolded me for not already seeing what was so plain to her. I am a writer, and so I should write. I am a teacher, and so I should teach. I am a healer, and so I should heal. After all, my parents named me Angela Dawn – angel of the morning – God’s messenger. We talked for many hours and the coincidences that surfaced simply could no longer be labeled coincidence. We agreed that somehow our meeting was divinely appointed and that we were meant to encounter each other for this moment and moments to come. Lesson #7—I am meant to heal through words and touch. It is my destiny, and it is time for me to get down to business. I must make space in my life to do this.

We said goodnight and farewell and I went back to my room. I logged onto Facebook and found a post by a college friend with whom I had recently reacquainted. When visiting, I had suggested she might want to research indigo and crystal children as her description of her beautiful son suggested he aligned with some of the qualities of those children. She had written a loving tribute to him and penned the words to a song about her indigo child. Lesson #8—My words are already helping people heal. There is no telling how many lives will be touched by her song, and in a roundabout way, by my nudge.

By 6:30 AM I was on a plane to Denver to see my vision therapist. He is an optometrist who works energetically through muscle checking to help people overcome that which holds them back from being their best. His work opens up the visual field using colored lights. He has other energetic work as well, which we may investigate next summer. While there, he told me about a family in Missouri who had reached the end of their rope with a child. In a desperate search, they found his website, and then my blog post that mentioned our results with his work. Long story short, they took a chance and it paid off in a life-changing way. Lesson #9—Sometimes I may not even know who my words help to heal.

Shortly after noon, I met another college friend whom I also had not seen in the 20 years since graduation. What a beautiful woman she is! As we began to visit and catch up, I saw a door open just slightly that allowed me to share with her a piece of my story. At one point, I felt compelled to ask her if she sees colors around people. She seemed shocked that I had asked that but quickly said, “Yes! Yes I do!”. I talked with her some more and shared the things I had seen and experienced earlier in the week. She was fascinated and excited to say the least. Overwhelmed is a descriptor that has surfaced many times this week for both of us. I wanted to ask her what she saw when she looked at me, but I refrained.

Later that evening after we had parted ways, she re-opened that door of opportunity as she texted me to make sure my trip had been a safe one. I then asked her what she saw when she looked at me. She indicated she hadn’t noticed when I was in her presence, but in looking back, she saw a blue color surrounding me and it was very strong. I had deliberately not told her my life colors when we visited because I knew this moment would come and it would be important for her to have the same validation I had been seeking. Since that time, she has messaged me that she continues to discover and experience incredible things. Lesson #10—The Divine will bring teacher into the student’s presence at a precise moment in time when the student is ready, and the teacher may learn as much from the student as the student learns from the teacher.

The Bonus Lesson

As I look around at my world and see so many people searching for a spiritual experience that goes beyond what religion has given them, I realize that many of us are being drawn together for a common purpose. The circumstances and time into which we were born and raised are important factors in our mission. Without the experiences, gifts, and even baggage our family, friends, and others who cross our path have given us, we could not accomplish that which is about to be undertaken.

Jesus Christ came 2000 years ago, gathered his team, and delivered his message of the extraordinary powers of healing we possess—life saving healing. For some reason, God has once again chosen to remind his creations, the extensions of his soul that they are in fact a part of him and are tapped into his power stream. It didn’t go away after the first century as some would have us to believe. It simply went dormant from lack of faith and use. Lesson #11—We chose this time, this place, these circumstances, our parents, and our friends because without them, we would not be properly equipped for the mission. We are here to remind humanity of who they are. Will humanity accept it this time or will they once again kill the messenger and the message?

Stay tuned…..

 

 

 

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