Archive for the ‘Gratitude’ Category

Confessions of a Desperate Small Town Diva

You just can’t keep a secret in a small town. Someone will eventually find out and then you’re busted. So, I have a confession to make, because it is time to come clean, and I’d rather break the news myself than be outed by everyone else.

Wow. This is so…uh….embarrassing. How to begin?

Yeah….so…’s like this. I get around. I’m not the nice innocent girl everyone has always thought I was. You see, I’ve been ….ahem….enjoying….my support staff. I figure a picture is worth a thousand confessions, so right here, right now, in a public forum, I’m confessing my obsessions.

First, let me say, I can’t help myself. It’s not that I WANT to be unfaithful. It’s just…well….a woman has needs. So yes, even though I’m madly in love with this man,

My Hubby

I’ve also “been with” my housekeeper.

My Housekeeper

And quite honestly, I find certain construction guys just irresistibly sexy….well, just one. I confess to having stooped to the level of hanging out at the construction site and flirting with this guy in hopes of getting noticed….or something……  ;-) I’ve even helped hold up a few pieces of sheetrock and stuffed some insulation in key places to get his attention. I think the construction guy may have fathered a few of my children. Construction rocks my world!

My Construction Engineer

Oh….and the yardman. He’s just so luscious. What’s a middle-aged diva to do?

My Yardman


Except stare at this…….It’s tiny, butt oh so cute!

My Yardman's Tush

Oh yeah….there’s this farmer guy in town…well, on the edge of town. He’s got a big Tonka Toy that I really like……I’m talkin’ about the tractor, Sillies!

The Farmer's Tonka Toy


And then there’s my occasional fling with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. What can I say? I’m into fantasy and role play?????

Santa Claus

Okay, so I couldn’t get him to wear the bunny suit. What’s it to ya????

My pool boy is a bit camera shy and prefers to remain anonymous, but I’ll catch him before long. I bet you’ll recognize him.

OMG!!!!! I can’t believe I almost forgot the tv repairman and my electrical engineer!!!! There is just NOTHING sexier than a stud in a bucket truck wearing a tool belt full of squeeze-ons and crimping tools. Just sayin………

I think there may be a few others. A girl like me sometimes forgets after there have been so many.

Gosh…..I feel so much better now. Confession is good for the soul, isn’t it?

Celebrating Life, Spring, and My Hunky Farmer Boy

It’s Easter Sunday morning, and for probably the first time since I was conceived, I won’t be at an Easter church service.

It’s been almost a year since we went to church….any church. It’s nothing personal at this point. I’ve just got better things to do. That used to really bother me, and I guess on some level it still does. Yesterday, I mentioned it to my Hunky Farmer Boy, and he suggested (rather tongue in cheek) we could instead have Sunrise Services at the farm. I followed up by noting that it probably would be more like a high noon service, because I seriously doubted anyone in our house would be up by sunrise ‘cept me.

“Worship” at the farm and wellness center has become something I look forward to more than any church assembly. There isn’t typically a Bible to be found, nor is there a schedule for announcements, singin’, prayin’, preachin’, and fellowship dinner. There is sunshine, God’s beauty, gratitude, new life, and loads of love. There are usually two or more gathered (most likely me and Hunky Farmer Boy), and there is no doubt whose name we credit with giving us such peace and amazing blessings. And while tiny cups of grape juice and stale, pasty cracker pieces are no where to be found, communion is absolutely, positively happening.

Instead of a baptism, we’ll walk around layin’ hands on our new fruit trees, saying a prayer over them and sending divine light energy up through their roots. We’ll feed, water, and otherwise care for God’s creatures including a couple of old horses, a whole lotta chickens, and some overly lovey-dovey cats. We’ll even partake of God’s blessings by gathering eggs and picking deliciously fresh asparagus.

Then, after a long, sweaty, and dirty day of our style of worship, HFB and I will sit together and watch as the sky turns to the most incredible shades of orange, purple, and pink while the sun sets on the horizon.

Just before heading back to “the house”, if all goes well, I’ll catch Hunky Farmer Boy alone and we’ll appreciate God’s gifts just a bit more. If he’s really lucky, we’ll add our own chapter to the book of Song of Solomon.

Yep, it doesn’t get much more spiritual than Song of Solomon, even on Easter Sunday.

Worrying Makes It Better, Right?

Yesterday, 32 baby chicks arrived at the post office with my name and address attached. I love baby chicks. Sometimes we order an assortment of breeds, which allows us ample opportunity to speculate as to what breeds we have while enjoying their different colorings and personalities. This particular assortment is called the Rainbow Layers collection. That means I get a smidgen of everything from seven pound brown egg laying giants to four pound floofy-headed princesses, all hens — we think.

Apparently that also means I have to separate out the little princesses who need their frequent naps so the big bullies won’t trample them. Ugh! That wasn’t in the manual. Now I have three dead chickies (one of which arrived like that–it happens) twenty one bruisers toasting their tootsies in the “planned for” chickie condo, and eight little princesses getting royal treatment in somewhat cramped quarters INSIDE the Wellness Center. Those little princesses cost me about $40 extra in un-planned-for equipment.

And so yesterday afternoon was spent babysitting chickie-princesses. I made sure they had occasional drinks of water by dipping their little beaks in it throughout the afternoon. I watched their breathing. I tested the warmth of the heat lamp to make sure I wasn’t toasting chickie squab for dinner. Basically, I fretted over these two- and three-dollar fluffballs of downy feathers and tiny bones.

And then I went home.

And then I began to worry.

What if the lamp is too hot and they can’t escape the heat? What if I show up this morning and they are all dead? What if one of the little geniuses decides to fall asleep in the make-shift waterer and drowns herself? What if that heat lamp catches the wellness center on fire? And on and on and on.

And then I said to myself, “Stop it.” I was working myself into a tizzy of stress over things that are more or less out of my control. I was giving my attention and energy to all the horrible things that COULD happen rather than thinking about how they are toasty warm little princesses that get to nap in peace and strengthen their little bodies without being trampled by the massive masses. Wouldn’t my time be better spent thinking about how cool it is that I have a space to give them respite and the resources to buy or invent the needed supplies and equipment? It’s called law of attraction, but it’s also called Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in the Bible.

Worry = Fear = Opposite of Peace & Love = Stress.

The cure for worry = peace & love.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do allow our minds to think the worst when the worst hasn’t happened? And if the worst does happen, what did our worrying about it do to keep it from happening? NOTHING. It zaps our energies, negatively affects our health and wellness, and doesn’t change the outcome one bit. Or does it? What if worrying and the mind-racing scenarios of horror we invent actually contribute to the manifestation of that which we most fear?

Fortunately God’s cool universe doesn’t operate quite that fast. We have plenty of time to think the worrisome thought, recognize it as not what we desire, and then change that thought to one that supports and encourages our desires. After all, that which we fear, which is usually some sort of death or tragedy, cannot be made any less likely to happen by worrying about it. Instead, why not send visions and thoughts of blessings, success, safety, and life, instead?  Sounds like a much better plan to me.

Okay, little princess chickies. I’m sending you the energies of strength, light, perfect warmth, and full little tummies (or in this case “crop” –pronounced like “craw”) so that when I greet you later this morning, I am pleasantly surprised at how you are thriving. If by chance one or more of you has chosen not to remain here to be a part of our little farm, then so be it. Maybe I’ll catch you next time around, but I am NOT gonna worry about it. Blessings my little ones.

Constant Reassurance Makes for Good Vibrations

I did it. I not only made the decision to change my career, I actually acted on it this past week. You can see the pre-game warmup here.

Now comes the tricky part. I must make sure that every thought, feeling, emotion, vibration, and experience support not only the fact that I made the right decision, but also that I will be highly successful in my new ventures.

In the days leading up to my decision and the action that sealed the deal, I continually asked God to give me signs that I was headed the right direction. He did that in overwhelming ways. With every convincing sign, I would ask for another and another. I think I wanted the heavens to open up and ten thousand angels to descend in front of me, all singing some rendition of a song called DO IT! I was feeling the fear of insecurity, and needed complete reassurance that my change was authorized, 100% backed, and supported by the all of the forces of Heaven.

I finally did it. I must admit I was partly afraid that if I asked for any more signs I might get hit by one. I’m joking, of course, but it is funny how one fear was replaced by another. Now I face the daily mental disciplinary task of knowing that I am safe, cared for, protected, and financially secure in all ways. Again, asking for constant reassurance from the Divine is the best way for me to calm the doubt and raise the vibration of success. He continues to come through with flying colors (not literally, but would probably happen if I asked for it).

This morning, I once again asked for that communication of reassurance. I have found that He speaks most clearly to me through the words of books including everything from the Bible to something called Animal Spirit Guides by Steven Farmer to my latest find entitled It Has Always Been Thus. I’m sure He would find a way to respond to me no matter what I picked up, yet this morning, I grabbed the latter option, said my short prayer requesting reassurance, closed my eyes, and flipped to a page in the book.

These words were the first I saw from Rosalee Sirgany’s book:

Go within. Look into your heart. See what gladdens your heart and soul and endeavor to make this your life’s work. Be at peace and know that you shall and will be abundantly provided for, for when you are on the correct path for you, you are flowing in harmony with Divine energy and things seem to fall in place magically.

There is no magic, however, except that which you create by being at one with All That Is, in harmony with the flow of love and light. Be happy. It is the most important thing, for when you are happy you can change the world easily and effectively.

What’s left to be said after reassurance like that? I think I’ll go find an mp3 of Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t Worry,  Be Happy”.  It’s already playing in my head. You can listen on You Tube here.

Staying or Going—Today I Go

“There is no way to both stay and go.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves.

Those words were shared this morning by a beautiful soul who calls herself Ronna Detrick in her latest blog post. Those words bring me so much peace and confidence today, when I need them most.

Today. This day. The day that I take the first official step towards going. In a little over an hour, the meeting will be over, the official notice will have been given, the decision made. I am going. I can’t not go. Staying would mean playing it safe, postponing my dream, and dying inside just a little bit more each day. It would mean waking up each morning knowing I was too chicken to risk experiencing my life’s purpose. I’m not exactly sure which generates more fear, staying or going. Staying is safe, but staying is toxic.

Going is release. My word for the year. I have much to release. This is one of those things. By releasing the old and embracing the new, even with all its risks and uncertainties, I will not only survive, I will thrive. I will live. I will feel joy. I will give joy. I will radiate joy. I will succeed. The how is not mine to arrange. Only the intention is mine to create.

I have asked the Divine to grant me freedom and joy. I have asked to be shown my life’s purpose. I have been led to this moment of going. Matthew 6:25-34 gives me the confidence of knowing that all my needs will be met.

25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

26″Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31″So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Today, I go. I release. I breathe. I live.

Miraculous Abundance

It’s funny. I talk all the time about thinking positive, setting intentions, and trusting God to meet our needs. And then it happens. I hit the wall. Tuition is due. Taxes are due. Horses need this or that. Medical/dental bills are on the horizon. I begin to panic. There is a part of me that knows anything we desire is ours. Then there is the part of me that has a “never quite enough” vibration going on. What’s up with that? Who is that helping? Certainly not me.

I am reading a book called Autobiography of a Yogi. It is a free download. It is also available on Amazon in book form or on Audible in audio form. In recent years I have had a suspicion that miracles still happen and coincidence is anything but. This book has confirmed much of my suspicions in those areas. If a person can keep the focus and the vibration at the right level, abundance will flow in like a river headed for the ocean. God will meet our needs, and even our wants with abundance.

With that kind of information readily available and already a part of my belief system, why do I still panic when faced with additional requirements for money and resources? It’s time to take a deep breath, recognize how much I already have received, and realize that every bit of it was provided for me in amazing ways. Isn’t it nice that I have space left on a credit card to pay the tuition? It’s wonderful that banks have faith in my ability to earn money so that they are eagerly willing to advance me the funds to use. Isn’t it awesome that we own houses and land worth taxing? Isn’t it nice that our vehicles are no longer taxed as personal property? Isn’t it wonderful that my daughter is going to college and qualified for loan money to pay for her tuition, even if it isn’t accessible until after the deadline? Isn’t it fantastic that she has a good job which helps to pay for a large portion of her expenses?

The opportunities are set before me. That can only mean the means to act on those opportunities will likewise be made known in good time. I must feel the wealth and abundance that is my life. It is there waiting for me to acknowledge it and have faith in its power to provide.

Good Vibrations

Today is a terrific day. I’m not sure what has made it so, but everything about today feels good. It started last night actually. I had a massage client who took a chance on me. She had no idea what kind of work I could do for her, but she took a $50 chance. I delivered, and she really fed my ego.  It made for a really great evening.

Then this morning, I was on Facebook and she messaged me. Again, she complimented me and bragged about how good her session was and how she slept all night for the first time in months. That’s a pretty cool way to start the morning. Hubby was awake earlier than usual, and of course he always makes me feel like a million dollars. God I am so freaking blessed. Everything about this morning felt right, and I felt it deep inside. It was almost a quivering…a shiver of energy that repeatedly zings through my system….the Universe giving me a wonderful pep talk…a good vibration, if you will.

That’s it. Good Vibrations. It hit me that I desperately wanted some Beach Boys this morning. What is it about hippie looking bearded guys from the 70’s singing happy harmony songs that has the power to seal the deal on a terrific morning? It’s the Good Vibrations, and that’s what I was listening to.

The thing about good vibrations is they don’t stay contained very well. When a person is feeling good vibrations, that feeling overflows onto everything and to everyone. When a person is feeling down, the best medicine is to find some good vibrations. Former Dallas Cowboy Drew Pearson was in town earlier this week, and he brought some really good vibrations. He carries an energy and a presence of happiness, thankfulness, and personal best everywhere he goes. He delivers good vibrations. His message was “…to be successful, surround yourself with good people” or in other words, surround yourself with good vibrations.

Sometimes we get into a funk in which we “waller” in self pity hoping for someone else to change so that we can once again feel some good vibrations. The problem is we can’t wait for someone else to deliver those good vibrations. We must be the generator of good vibrations. How do we do that? I mean, if you are down, you are down, right? You can’t just shift on a whim can you?

Yes, you can. Everything in life is a choice. Being pissed off at the world (or anyone in it) is a choice. Being happy and generating those good vibrations is a choice. I choose to surround myself with people around whom I feel AMAZING and for whom I choose to give good vibrations. I think that’s why I like hanging around my sweet hunky baby. He chooses to radiate those good vibrations and it affects everyone around him. I love Facebook comments that are positive. I use those to generate good vibrations by reading and re-reading them. Great music, like some good ol’ Beach Boys generates my good vibrations. Being kind to someone generates good vibrations. Even a smile can rock someone’s world for the better.

Gotta keep those lovin’ good vibrations   A happenin’ with her
Gotta keep those lovin’ good vibrations   A happenin’ with her
Gotta keep those lovin’ good vibrations   A happenin’ Ahhhhhhhh
Good good good good vibrations….

Graduation Gifts

Graduation Day for my oldest beautiful one is fast approaching. Some have asked if I am sad and teary-eyed. My response to that question is a resounding NO! I am so excited for her. She gets to step away from the confines of small town life with its limited choices and enter the big beautiful and limitless world of opportunities.

One of the neatest traditions of graduation is that of giving gifts. We do this for many life transitions including weddings, housewarmings, birthdays, retirement parties, and so on. There is something very special about giving to the one who is about to take a leap that allows us to feel we are helping them on their way. As she moves closer and closer to 7:00 PM on May 29th, I keep thinking about what it is I most want to give to her. So far, the list looks like this:

1. I give her the gift of love. May she always have an abundance of love to give others because the love she has for herself is absolutely overflowing.

2. I give her the gift of open-mindedness. It took me a very long time to acquire this precious item. I share it with her so that she will have the opportunity to experience so much more of life because she can see beyond her own experiences.

3. I give her the gift of intuition. Again, this is one that I’ve only recently uncovered for myself. She is already developing her gift of intuition, and it is serving her extremely well. I trust that she will learn to use it in just the right balance so as to protect herself and serve others.

4. I give her the gift of courage. It takes guts to put oneself out there for the world to judge your talents and abilities. Sometimes that judgment brings some disappointment. Other times it comes with abundant rewards. Both experiences require significant courage. Here is trusting that the disappointments will be blessings in disguise and the abundant rewards will be easily recognizable.

5. I give her the gift of inner peace. The ability to rest quietly in one’s own company and enjoy a bit of solitude is priceless. It is also critically necessary to maintaining one’s sanity and for listening to intuition. Here’s to the ability to quiet her mind.

6. I give her the gift of vision. May she always look forward to both choose and see her destiny and shape it the way she wants it to be. Looking back only attracts more of what one is attempting to leave behind. Forward focus is the only way to travel through life.

7. I give her the gift of everlasting inner beauty. May everyone who crosses her path throughout her life feel as though they have experienced a gift simply being in the presence of such an amazing person as this one of mine.

8. I give her the gift of wisdom. May all of her choices in life be guided by the wisdom of her heart rather than the rationality of her mind.

9. I give her the gift of freedom. While she will always be welcome to visit in my presence, I set her free to become her own person, establish her own family, experience life her own way without criticism, control, or disapproval from me.

10. I give her the gift of abundance. May she always realize that her heart’s desires are fully available to her simply by making her request known and feeling she is already in possession of that which she seeks.

And so it is. In a little over two weeks, she will step up on stage for the last time as a high school student. When she steps down, her life will forever be changed, and there will be no looking back.

 “….and these three remain: Faith, Trust, and Love, and the greatest of these is Love.” Enjoy life, Princess.


Danielle's Inspiration

My blogging desire has been on vacation lately with the gorgeous weather we’ve seen here in the Texas Panhandle. I think sometimes I am drawn to take a back seat in order to let someone else have my spotlight for a bit.

The spotlight for today goes to Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth. Her article has a very powerful message about allowing ourselves to be affected by the tragedy others experience and share with us.

Comments? Experiences to share?

Christian Enlightenment

Over the past couple of years, I have developed an interest in learning more about world religions. Most of my life has been wrapped up in a very legalistic view of one religion, Christianity. I grew up in a fairly conservative church with conservative teachers, ministers, and church leaders. I even acquired my bachelor’s degree from a university affiliated with that church organization. Exposure to other religions was less than encouraged unless it was to learn about how they erred from the true pathway to heaven. While some may see those experiences as very restrictive, oppressive, and negative, it has actually a blessing. The things I learned while immersed in that belief system have given me much insight and knowledge from which to make some life impacting evaluations and comparisons.
However recent exposures, both incidental and intentional, to some of the beliefs of other world religions has done much to open my eyes about my own traditional belief system. It is exciting and at the same time a bit unnerving. I absolutely love discovering the similiarities between world religions. I find it amazing to see how God has revealed his purpose and  his nature to the entire universe meeting people where they are. (See for an “enlightened” example of many similarities.)  I recognize that some of the beliefs contained in world religions are contrary to my own. Much study is still needed for me to become completely comfortable with those boundaries. Discernment is a necessary and useful skill that I am still developing, but I’m gaining ground on that one.
And yet, I find it disturbing how violently and dramatically some Christians choose to react to the mere mention of anything to do with other world religions. It is as if in their minds the mere utterance of the name of a non-Christian religion will condemn a person to some sort of curse or fiery eternal sentence. Some Christians find it difficult to reconcile practices like Yoga and meditation with their beleifs. I find this very sad. God uses so many ways to reveal himself to us. Yet we often walk away from these revelations because we fear what we do not understand. He has given us some incredibly powerful gifts to use at our disposal, and still we choose to leave those gifts at the feet of the Cross of Jesus because they too closely resemble some practice in use by another religion. At least that is an excuse we use. Could it possibly be that we simply choose not to accept the fullness of what Jesus gave to the world?
On this Easter Sunday, as we celebrate the greatest miracle in Christianity with love and gratitude, may we also take time to examine the teachings of Jesus that preceded and followed his celebratory death and resurrection. Let’s make a conscious choice to look at the divine messages God delivered to humanity through Jesus Christ. Some of them are eerily similar to practices and teachings delivered through Buddhism, Hinduism, and others, and may be easier to recognize and apply to our lives when viewed through those teachings. Don’t be satisfied with being saved and headed for heaven. Let’s take ahold of everything Jesus laid out in front of us, demonstrated for us, and encouraged us to put into practice in our lives. Seek to further understand how to pray believing we’ve already received. Pursue the concept of energy and how you can help another person heal with your energy just as Jesus did. Study Jesus’ message that he is the Light of the World and how you can become enlightened with him and in him. It will truly make a difference in the future of our entire world.
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